knightscrest: knightscrest: why is south korea nicer than north korea? south korea has a seoul
whiskey-memories: bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
folie-a-tout: heyaeya: dameofspace: pandyssian: OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this: THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY...
mrscalypsojackson: ameliafromafairytale: ditch-able-prom-date: thetableistryingtoeatme: Shout out to all the religious kids who keep their beliefs to themselves in the middle of science class. shout out also to the atheists who don’t shit on everyone else’s beliefs “because science” shout out to all the people who understand that it’s possible to be religious and still believe in...
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
Me: “So, what will it be?”
Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
potential-and-difference: prop-215: dazegetbrighter: what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them? How stoned are you right now? Was that a fucking pun?
egg-rolls: omg i was at starbucks and there was this girl and she had her hair in a bun and had a crop top with flowers on it and i hissed “hipster blog” and she turned around and snarled “fandom blog” and then we shook hands and exchanged urls her tumblr is pretty nice i dont see why there’s a rivalry we’re all wasting our lives on the same goddamn website
fictitiousfake: J.K Rowling said that her inspiration for Hagrid came from when she was 19 in a pub in the west country and this terrifying looking guy came in with these other biker guys and the only thing he talked to J.K about was how his cabbages were getting on
*Pollen accidentally enters body*
Immune system: What the hell is that?
Pollen: Oh hey. Sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl-
Immune system: OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK
Pollen: What?!? No! We just got lo-
Immune system: OPEN THE FLOODGATES
Pollen: The what?
Mucus membranes: Sir. All the floodgates?
Immune system: ALL OF THEM.
Pollen: Wait. Wait. You don't... Oh shi-